this dude strolls up to our table and starts talking to us. big mistake. we'd already had a couple beers and played a drinking game so we were good and sauced. he plops down at our table and says how he noticed we were having some good girl talk and wanted to join in. we were instantly confused - did this man have a vagina?
we gave him a hard time right from the get go. i shouted, "if you knew it was girl talk, why did you bring a penis to the table?" his reply -"because the penis could have some valuable insight in your girl talk."
tree brought out the big guns. "oh really, well what would you suggest for when we are having our period and we have cramps so fucking bad we want to curl up into painful angry little fucking balls?"
we were not prepared for the answer he gave us. "well first, i would give her three aleves," okay, not bad. "then, i would give her some oral pleasure." OKAY. EW. we smelled a rat. we all pounced on that one letting him know no man we know is really THAT into getting his red wings. he tried to get in there with some strange "well, if a girl really loved a guy, she'd let him do it." logic. i'm not really sure it's the girl who is having the major objection in this scenario. at this point, a couple of us let him know that at this table every girl is either engaged or married or just has no interest in him. he tries to tell us he's not out to pick anyone up, but we're not buying it.
around this time, vanessa gives a shout out to mr. red wings' friends that went a little something like this : "whoever is friends with the guy in the blue shirt here, could you come and get him? he is not going to score with any of us tonight because he is a big loser!" when mr. red wings hears this, he gets incredibly indignant. "you know what? i just came down here to have a good time and I AM NOT A LOSER!" and storms off from the table.
we all pretty much lost it then - we didn't know whether to laugh or feel badly, but most of us chose the former. what guy plops himself down at a table full of women and starts talking about oral pleasure before even attempting to get anyone's name that is NOT trying to pick up a lady for the evening? give us a break.
tree giving mr. loserface a hard time while meredith proudly shows off her cookie!
please! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY stop growing these fucking ugly mustaches! stop! stop! STOP! they are not cool or ironic. they make you look like you stapled the tails of dead rats to your faces.
