Wednesday, July 05, 2006

shitpissfuckcunt.

loveliness abounds.

just when i have everything all settled and mapped out life does what life does and decides to throw a wrench in the gears.

i can't have my wisdom teeth out on friday. why, you ask? well, i'll tell you - after all, this is my blog and i have little shame.

you see, yesterday i went to the bathroom for a [brace yourself] number two and what came out was black. i flashed back to that episode of the family guy with the catholic version of "everybody poops" called "you're a wicked little child and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you!"

i immediately consulted the list of possible side effects for those king kong antibiotics i had just taken the last of a few hours prior. i couldn't find anything about black poop, so i called the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist. she said black poop could be indicative of blood in your poop which was one of the "go to your doctor straight away if this happens" symptoms.

fuck.

so i called to see if i could see my own doctor and no dice til friday - the day i was getting my wisdoms out. so, i told them i would just see the walk-in doctor the next day - which would be today.

so, i go and the doctor orders this test that involves me collecting a poop sample and using something that looks like one of those wooden coffee stirsticks to scrape a small amount of poop onto this little card and then i have to take it to the lab. once at the lab, they put some mystery chemical on it and if it changes color i have blood in my poop.

and then?

i'm not sure.

but i asked the doctor if i should proceed with the extraction and she strongly advised postponing it, which does NOT make me happy. especially since i called the dentist and they can not reschedule my extraction til august 31st! so, i was faced with the lovely choice of either going ahead with my plans and quitting my job and pushing ahead my vacations and paying for the extraction myself - as in august i won't have the insurance - OR not quitting my job and forfeiting all vacations including italy so i only have to pay like 30% of the extraction.

i chose to go ahead and quit. i typed up a resignation letter and am having a co-worker hand deliver it to the business analyst. however, i will not be booking any tickets for travel until i know more about what's wrong with me - which i won't know for a bit as i can't do the test on my poop for three days because you can't eat or drink certain things before you do the test, then i have to wait for it to be processed, so it probably won't be til after the weekend.

oh well, paying the $1800 for the extraction is better than possibly losing the $2100 on my ticket if i couldn't get it refunded.

about the only thing that's nice in this situation is that since i put in my notice today and had previously booked two vacation days to allow for wisdom teeth healing i only have to work 3 out of the 7 days of notice AND i get paid for 5 of them.

hooray 4 day weekend.

tonight i'm going with my roommates to superman on the imax 3D as a way of cheering and distracting myself. take that, black poop.

7 Comments:

Blogger sunshine said...

It could be a sign of an ulcer. And it could be nothing. I've had that happen to me before. It was like that for a few days and then it was fine. Also, the anti-biotics could have caused it. Don't worry, you'll be fine. If I were you I'd have the wisdom teeth out anyway. But then again, I'm an idiot.

Feel better!

lovelovelovelovelove

9:38 AM  
Blogger Declan McManus said...

I AM THE AFOREMENTIONED COWORKER! Meeeeee. Raynna!! I gave the letter. Vredit where credi tis due, son of a biatch!!

2:12 PM  
Blogger Declan McManus said...

I also suck at the typing!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous bglam said...

Aaaah Kristy, I hope everything's okay.

Stupid black poop. I spit on it. I stomp on it. No, I don't stomp on it. I just spit on it. And give it a dirty eye.

I'm sorry you have to wait for your wisdom extraction. One thing at a time, huh?

My thoughts are with you. Hope you're well.

7:40 PM  
Blogger rebelbarbie said...

raynna - you know i loves you, baby - even if i can understand what you've typed!

tree - the poop is brown again - probably a false alarm, but i'm still testing.

brandi - thanks for the spit! i think it worked! i'm feeling much better!

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have high iron content. Or take high iron pills your poop turns black.

4:07 AM  
Blogger rebelbarbie said...

nope, no iron pills.

12:45 PM  

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