i'm babbling

it's being all alone
inside yourself
not knowing how to explain
the commotion in your brain
he thought it was winking inside
a joke about something that wasn't
really as real as it was intended to be
disjoint me
disassemble rearrange
and shape to fit the confines
of this moulding
the pleasure i'm beholding
inside the burning anger of
a dream that will never ever be true
no matter the wishing and exertion
it's his inertia
no one to blame but perhaps
another legendary divorce
grown to become such a bore
oh i'll reference if it makes me clever
in your eyes
you've tried but you can't sympathize
with the pathetic portion of my situation
label this with negation
it's really all the same if you leave me
here to think a while
i've always doted on your smile
a million miles of strings and hearts
i never thought i'd play this part
walking down a mile of blades
that slice into my every crevice
secret or not
it never mattered
stream of conciousness finds its delta
i did everything for you as you watched me
fumble all my words
like water through my fingers
oh how i tried to make you understand and love me
all to no avail