Thursday, February 23, 2006

on the topic of friendship

"A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity. " - Robert Hall

"A friend should be good to his or her friends: be generous, helpful, loyal, protective, and so on." - Principle of Buddhist worship

"A friend should be someone you choose to have in your life because he or she enriches your experience." - Psych Central

"A friend should be radical: they should love you when you're unlovable, hug you when you're unhuggable, and bear you when you're unbearable" -


I've been doing a lot of thinking today about friendship, who my friends are, who my friends are not, what constitutes being a good friend or a bad friend, and why I feel the way I feel towards some of my friends.

I like to think of myself as a good friend, I want to be a good friend, but I know I've had times where I've been a bad friend. A terrible friend even.

With all the craziness in my life lately, it feels good to know that even though I've wanted to be all sullen and tight lipped and not say a word to anyone, even though I've said endlessly that it annoyed the living bejebus out of me, people cared enough to inquire about how I was doing or say, "Hey, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

And at the same time, even though I've had all my own things going on, I have been able to extend myself to others to try and help them and give them advice or an ear to simply listen. I feel so good knowing that I have friends who value my opinion and are willing to share themselves and their problems and complexities with me.

I think gratitude is an underexpressed emotion and right now I feel so grateful to have such an interesting spectrum of people who I can call my friends. Without even one of them, the entire tapestry of my life would change. I think of them as my family, the ones who stand in when my actual realtives can't be there, can't understand me or can't give me the kinds of things I need. Each one of them fills a certain need and gives me the opportunity to give back to them when I can and that is such an amazing thing. I would do anything to protect them, comfort them, support them, cheer them up or be there. I want to be a person who people say can be counted on no matter what.

I don't care if anyone out there feels that this is lame or sappy or naive. If you think that, I feel bad for you. Maybe you don't have people who make you feel this way, and for that I feel really sad. I wish everyone could look around them and see all the people they have in their corners and just step back and truly appreciate them for what they are. Hell, I wish I could do that all the time like I am doing now. I wish that everyone could take just a few moments to think about the things they love about each other and not the things they hate - that we could all look at something from a different perspective, a tolerant perpective, an unselfish perspective.

But then that would make the world a lot less dramatic and a lot less cruel - and who could possibly want that, right?


Blogger Amanda said...

Are you poking fun at my stop being so dramatic/I want to trade in all my friends post? BIATCH!! j/k

3:09 PM  
Blogger FlashyG said...

I'd like to print out a series of quotes to give to my friends when they are being the exact opposite. I'm sure that I'd always be able to find one that applies to every situation on a day to day basis. It could be on some sort of rolodex. For example, under the category of "DICK", the quote would say "Friends are not DICKS to one another, they treat each other with respect" I could definitely use one like that. On second thought, I might need multiple copies of that one. It may need to be used more than once. Ha! Ha!

11:55 PM  
Blogger rebelbarbie said...

the end of it was making a BIT of fun of you, amanda, but whole thing was sincere, really.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Declan McManus said...

very very nice.

3:37 AM  
Blogger Declan McManus said...

love you

3:37 AM  

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